One in a Million

Hi friends 😊 I’m starting a blog!

Starting a blog is never something I dreamed one day that I would do. I actually hate writing… but over the last month, God has used writing as an outlet for me to express my emotions and share my heart with y’all. And I could have never imagined the response. Everyone has been so kind!

At first, it touched me how much my updates on my dad meant to everyone. But they were nothing more than compliments to me, originally. As time went on, it turned into a feeling of something I was being called to do long term.

I would get calls from family members daily telling me they were approached by both friends and strangers to talk about my posts. I have never been good at accepting compliments so this all felt so awkward to me – I didn’t know what to say. It was all God, not me!

I would have strangers reach out to me on Facebook saying that even though they didn’t know me or my dad, they looked for my posts every night and then they would talk about them with their co-workers at work the next day or talk to their family across the country about each update. WOW! I had old friends/classmates of mine and old friends, students, players of my dad’s reach out and express how our journey has changed their life and transformed them from lukewarm Christians to full fledged followers of Christ. And little does everyone know, I was in the same boat.

While these all gave me hope that dad’s wish for his struggles point people to God, that’s all it was to me. But then things started to change. The night before Thanksgiving, I was picking up some last minute items at the grocery store. After I got in my car, I had a knock on my window. It was one of my mom’s friends! She started by letting me know how hard she had been praying for dad. And then she asked if I was going to keep writing… I said well I’m not a really good writer- I don’t know what else to write about after this. She said, “I have been to a lot of church services and listened to a lot of sermons, but I have never felt or understood the character of God like I have in the last weeks reading your posts. You have a gift and you need to use it. I know I am not the only one who feels that way.” I smiled and said, “Well I will pray about it.” That night I was up for hours, restless, with words streaming through my head- trying to fight off the calling laid on my heart. But God wouldn’t let me shake it off.

The following Sunday, the church sermon was about Peter. Peter needed frequent reminders from Jesus about his true calling to be not a fishermen, but a fisher OF men. He fought the calling and even denied Jesus 3 times… and then (rightfully so) felt inadequate to be a disciple after playing a part in Jesus’ ultimate crucifixion. But Jesus reminded him that he was called DESPITE his sin because he was forgiven. He was chosen by God. And looked how God used him!!

After that sermon I continued to wrestle with feeling inadequate. Then one of my aunts told me my writings reminded her of Priscilla Shirer… WHAT! My women’s lifegroup is reading a book by Priscilla right now and literally weeks ago I said word for word, “Gosh I wish I was like Priscilla Shrier. The way she uses her words and metaphors to bring her message full circle is such a gift!” God knew that would be good persuasion to me, I had to pick up my computer and just start. Starting is always the hardest step for me.

Since I started praying about the idea of starting a blog, I have been trying to think of a name. I have never been creative when it comes to catch phrases and unique play on words. As I thought about it, one thing kept coming to my mind – “One in a million.” It goes back to the book we are reading by Priscilla which has changed my entire perspective on trials. It is what helped me prepare for this season of life and created the idea of “the wilderness” I have referred to in my posts.

After Moses led the exile from Egypt and crossed the Red Sea, the Israelites spent 40 years roaming in the wilderness, just waiting to enter the Promised Land. There were 2 million Israelites in the wilderness… but guess how many entered the Promised Land? Two. Two in two million (or for ratio’s sake, “One in a million.”) Only Joshua and Caleb out of the two million Israelites in their generation were faithful to the covenant of God and allowed to enter the Promised Land. The rest spent their time in the wilderness complaining about why God had led them out of slavery in Egypt followed by brief gratefulness for God’s provisions, and then back to complaining about their circumstances.

You see, it’s easy to complain about the trials… or the time in “the wilderness.” Sometimes it is hard to see God’s faithfulness when your world is crashing down. You can’t always see what you think He has promised to you. But I have learned from recent experience, that the wilderness is created to grow you. It is created to make you steadfast in your faith. It is created to make you one with God and to place your full trust in him. I know all wilderness seasons won’t end like this one has for me. But I want to be the “one in a million” that endures the wilderness with unfaltering devotion to what God has promised us- an eternal Promised Land.  

I don’t know what I will write about. Most of my thoughts come to me when I wake up in the middle of the night. So I am just trusting that God will lay the words on my heart and they will be designed to touch lives and touch hearts. Ultimately, I will use this platform to continue to share about our families recent wilderness and dad’s progress, how it has affected and grown our family unit, and to provide light in other’s darkness. Some other thoughts that have been laid on my heart to start with are my battles with perfectionism and overcoming crippling anxiety and self-criticism.

I am not a perfect writer. I am not always grammatically correct. But when I decided that I could not ignore this call anymore, I promised myself this would not turn into another thing on my “to-do list” or something where I feel unfulfilled by unmet expectations. This is nothing more than sharing what God has laid on my heart and fulfilling my form of ministry. If it touches one heart, PRAISE GOD! If it touches a hundred hearts, PRAISE GOD! If I never know who it touches, that’s okay… I trust God has called me to this for a purpose and He will use me how He sees fit to further His kingdom.

If you feel led to join me on this journey, THANK YOU! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for US 😊

With love,

Kenidi