One in a Million

How does God feel about me right now?

I have recently been reading The Gospel by JD Greear and it has literally changed my entire perspective on how I view God.

I read this opening line and got chills. “How does God feel about me right now?” So I thought about it. My immediate thoughts were drawn to the things I have DONE. What kind of week have I had? Have I spent enough time in the Bible? Have I had open eyes to those around me? Have I shown enough love and kindness to friends and strangers?

If I felt good about my week, I felt accepted by God. “Hey God, look at how good I am doing!” But if I had been consumed by all “the stuff” of that week and lost sight of “the Christian things,” I felt distant from God. Like I needed to hide from him until I was more worthy of Him. Like he didn’t approve of me.

That’s because I didn’t understand the Gospel. And I consistently need reminded of what the Gospel says about God.

For no apparent reason, I have been hardwired to always feel like I have had to earn approval. The approval of my parents, teachers, friends, patients… and most of all God. 

I have zero reason or explanation for why. I grew up with a wonderful home life. A family and community that always loved and supported me. My parents never made me feel that I needed to earn their love. They always pushed me to be the best I could be, but I guess in my perfectionist mind, anything less than perfection wasn’t good enough. I grew obsessed with the feelings of success and being the best to earn approval.

So that carried over into “Well God will only accept me if I am perfect for Him too.”

Maybe if I read the Bible more, memorized more scripture, gave more money, prayed better, worked harder… THEN God would love me more.

According to Martin Luther, the truth is we are all hardwired for something called “Works-Righteousness.” That is, the idea that what we do, determines how God feels about us. And unless we daily, actively, preach the TRUE gospel to ourselves, we will always fall back into our “works-righteousness” mindset.

Ope. Guilty. SUPER guilty.

The Gospel explains, “Do you know who loves to push us to evaluate ourselves according to how well we have done? Satan. Satan loves to convict us of our sins. His most effective weapon is making us forget the identity of the Father and base our sense of approval on how well we have done.”

Get out of here Satan! Reading this, I realized how sneaky Satan is. He hadn’t infiltrated my life through sins apparent to the eye, but had completely blinded me to who God is. He has run my life and perspective always based upon redirecting my attention away from what Jesus did for me onto what I could do for myself. And then made me feel like I was falling short. That I would never be worthy of God. And unfortunately Satan is persistent… He will consistently pry on my weakness of self-criticism if I don’t actively fight it.

The worst part is, what Satan speaks to us always has some truth. Which makes things get a little dicey. Like when he points out our failures. Those most definitely are true. But he manipulates us by playing on our core sin, whether that be pride or despair.

For prideful hearts, Satan will make you think you are doing so good. “At least you don’t struggle with xyz like they do.” Maybe you have always been a “winner.” You know what success feels like and LOVE it. That can take you far in life until you meet someone better. Or you face failure. Into the cycle of pride and despair you go.

For hearts of despair, he points out how bad you are doing compared to others. “Wow they spend so much time in scripture they can quote 5 books from memory. My bible knowledge pales in comparison.” Maybe you aren’t as successful as you always thought. Maybe you feel you let down your parents, family, or even yourself. Every way you look, “You’re not good enough” stares back at you. Into the cycle of pride and despair you go.

In the cycle, you constantly think, “How could anyone who is truly saved be as messed up as I am?”

BUT GUESS WHAT. This next paragraph changed my life forever.

“The gospel is that Christ has suffered the full wrath of God for my sin. Jesus Christ traded places with me, living the perfect life I should have lived, and dying the death I had been condemned to die. He took my shameful nakedness to clothe me with His righteousness. When I receive that grace in repentance and faith, full acceptance becomes mine. That is called “GIFT RIGHTEOUSNESS.” That means that God could not love me any more than He does right now, because God could not love and accept Christ any more than He does, and God sees me in Christ.”

Did you hear that?? There is NOTHING I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I HAVE DONE that makes Him love me less. His righteousness is a GIFT.

I don’t know about you but just reading that literally brings me to tears. It used to be tears weighted down by my sin and the constant cycle of trying to reach perfection, but always falling short. But now its tears of gratitude. Gratitude that Jesus died in our place. FOR ME. FOR YOU.

WOW. His perfect life is now credited to us. FOR NOTHING IN RETURN. I love deals, and I have never and will never see a deal THAT GOOD.

God’s acceptance is all that matters. Satan and the Holy Spirit both point out sin. But look at the difference: Satan starts with what you did, and tears you down. The Holy Spirit starts with what Christ has declared over you and helps you rebuild up from that.

Our identity is not in what kind of progress we are making. Or how “good” we are doing. We can’t WORK to earn His love. Our identity is in God’s acceptance in us… given as a GIFT.

While this is AWESOME news, I think there is also an important distinction to make here. There is absolutely nothing we can do to EARN God’s approval. We don’t work to earn salvation, that’s only given by Christ. ALL for HIS glory. BUT God still wants those things from us. He wants us to read the Bible to learn His heart. He wants us to talk to him daily in prayer. He wants us to be kind and compassionate. When we see what He has done for us and completely grasp the weight of his death on the cross, we WANT to do those things. But by a measure of I am grateful for the things He’s done for me… not by a measure of I HAVE to do these things to earn favor.

In Matthew 4, Satan met Jesus in the wilderness after he had fasted 40 days and 40 nights. Satan was sly. He tried to take Jesus’ focus off of God’s promises to seek his own validation. He kept pushing him… IF you were the son of God, shouldn’t you be able to do things differently? Shouldn’t you be able to get yourself out of the desert? Shouldn’t you be able to make yourself bread to feed your hunger?

If it was me in my human flesh, I would have been like- Satan you are SO right. Let me PROVE to you who I am and what I can do.

But thank goodness it wasn’t me. It was Jesus. And what did he say? “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.”

He did not need physical bread because He was being sustained by the bread of life. He did not need protection or to perform a miracle to PROVE He was the son of God. The promises God spoke to Him were sufficient for Him.

Boy do I strive to be more like Jesus. To live not only on bread, but on the Word of God.

And that is exactly what I need. I need the Word of God. A replay of the Gospel. To continually remind me that my sin and failure will never separate me from Him. That I cannot earn God’s approval or work my way to heaven. But Jesus lived a perfect life without sin, so that in faith in Him we have already been GIFTED salvation.  

I try to remind myself daily by repeating the Gospel prayer:

“In Christ there is nothing I can do that would make You love me more and nothing I have done that makes You love me less.”

“Your presence and approval are all I need for everlasting joy.”

“As You have been to me, so I will be to others.”

“As I pray, I will measure Your compassion by the cross and Your power by the resurrection.”